There’s so much chatter about the differences between raising a first baby and a second one—and for good reason. With your first, you’re navigating brand-new territory. Every cry feels urgent, every decision feels monumental, and let’s be honest, Google becomes your best (and most confusing) friend.
By the time your second comes along, you’re more confident, less panicky, and ready to trust your instincts.
For me, the gap between my first and second babies (four years!) brought a whole new perspective. When Renata, my firstborn, arrived, I was clueless. None of my friends had babies yet, so I relied heavily on Google and advice from anyone willing to share. Unfortunately, the advice often contradicted itself:
"Don’t hold your baby to sleep; you’ll create bad habits!"
"Hold them close as much as possible for a secure attachment."
"Skip the daily bath; it’s unnecessary."
"Create a sleep-friendly environment right away."
It was overwhelming, and I often felt lost and frustrated.
With my second, though, I leaned on experience and intuition. I knew more about what worked for me and what didn’t. I knew it was okay to toss out advice that didn’t align with our family’s needs.
Here are five things I did differently with my second baby that transformed our sleep journey:
1. Lots of Contact Napping
With my first, I worried endlessly about creating “bad habits.” With my second, I let all that go and leaned into the sweetness of contact naps. Almost all his naps during those early months happened in my arms. Those moments forced me to slow down, plan ahead, and just be.
Babies need us during the day because their sleep isn't mature yet—they lack the sleep pressure and hormones to sustain long naps on their own. Knowing that helped me relax and enjoy those snuggles. From months 1 to 5, he wasn’t ready for independent sleep, and I was completely okay with that.
2. We Co-Slept (Sometimes)
In the middle of those tough nights, I chose sleep over guilt. On challenging nights, we safely co-slept because I needed rest to be the best mom I could be for both my kids the next day. I didn’t worry about creating lifelong sleep dependencies because I knew that, in time, he’d be ready for independent sleep.
3. Established a Bedtime Routine from Day 1
While routines aren’t a must right away, I personally found comfort in starting one immediately. From the day we brought him home, we created a simple bedtime ritual:
Bath time
Soothing lavender lotion
Pajamas
Last feed of the day
Swaddle and sleep
Even if he woke up shortly after, I knew the difference between a middle-of-the-night wake-up and awake time for play. This routine didn’t just help him—it brought consistency and calm to the whole family, including my older daughter and husband.
4. Slept in His Room for a Month
Transitioning my baby to his own room was a big decision. While the AAP recommends room-sharing for at least 12 months, this timeline varies depending on each family’s needs.
For us, the move to his own room happened around 6 months. To ease the transition, I slept in his room on a daybed for about a month. This allowed me to support him gradually, using just my voice to soothe him and made those last nighttime feedings easier on both of us. Once we dropped the feedings, I moved out—and he transitioned beautifully.
5. Skipped Sleep Training
This might surprise you, especially since I’m a sleep coach, but I didn’t sleep train my second baby. Instead, I focused on gentle sleep coaching techniques from the start, and they naturally became part of our routine. By the time he was ready for independent sleep, he didn’t rely on sleep crutches.
With my first, I used The Shuffle Method, which worked well for us at the time. But this time, I didn’t need it. He adapted naturally, and our consistent efforts made the process smooth and stress-free.
Teaching your baby to sleep independently is a unique journey for every family. There’s no “one-size-fits-all” approach—what’s right is what feels good for you.
If you’re navigating your own sleep journey and feeling unsure, I’d love to help you create a plan that works for your family. Remember, you’ve got this, mama—and your instincts are your greatest superpower!
Let’s work together to make sleep a little sweeter for everyone in your home. 💕
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