I remember being a first-time mom and wishing I could have all the answers. I was constantly worried about doing the “right” thing, especially when it came to sleep.
One of my biggest fears? Creating bad habits! I thought that if I held my baby too much, rocked her to sleep, or let her nap on me, I was setting us both up for disaster down the road. Spoiler alert: I was wrong!
Looking back, I wish I could tell my younger self to take a deep breath, relax, and focus on what felt right in the moment.
That anxiety about sleep is what eventually led me to become a sleep coach. Now, I have the privilege of helping other parents avoid the same worries I had and guide them through those precious (and exhausting) first few months. If you’re about to welcome a baby or have a little one under 16 weeks, I’m here to share some of the things I wish I’d known back then.
1. Stop Stressing About Schedules
In the first few weeks (and even months), your baby’s sleep will be all over the place. It’s completely normal for their sleep to be inconsistent, and trying to stick to a rigid schedule will only add unnecessary stress. Instead of searching for the “perfect” routine, focus on recognizing your baby’s natural patterns.
Newborns typically follow a cycle of eat, play, sleep, repeat. Once you tune into your baby’s cues and their wakeful windows (how long they can stay awake before getting tired), you’ll start to notice a rhythm. But remember, this rhythm can change frequently in those early months, so flexibility is key. Give yourself grace during this time—you’ll find your groove soon enough! 🍼💤
2. You’re Not Creating “Bad Sleep Habits”
One of the most common concerns new parents have is whether they’re creating bad sleep habits. I totally get it! I was so worried about holding my baby too much, letting her sleep in my arms, and nursing her to sleep. But here’s the truth: you are not creating bad habits in the first few months.
In fact, holding, rocking, contact naps, and nursing to sleep are not only normal—they’re expected! Your baby just spent nine months snug and cozy inside the womb, and they crave that same closeness and comfort in the outside world. During this early phase, it’s all about survival, both for you and your baby. Do whatever feels right to get them to sleep, whether that’s holding, rocking, or feeding.
When your baby is developmentally ready, usually after 4 months, we can start adjusting sleep habits and building new routines that work better for your family. Until then, trust yourself. You can’t spoil a newborn with too much love and comfort.
3. Newborns and Short Naps Are Normal
Have you ever settled your baby down for a nap, only to have them wake up 20 minutes later? Or maybe they’ll nap for 2 hours one day and 30 minutes the next. Both are completely normal! Newborn sleep is unpredictable—sometimes you’ll get short cat naps, and other times, you’ll be surprised with a nice long nap.
In these early months, naps can range from 15 minutes to 2 hours. Rather than focusing on how long the naps last, focus on timing naps according to your baby’s wakeful windows. This means keeping an eye on when they start showing sleepy cues (yawning, rubbing their eyes, or getting fussy) and laying them down before they get overtired. Over time, naps will naturally become longer and more predictable, but for now, just go with the flow.
4. Don’t Overthink Sleep Needs
You might hear a lot of advice about how much sleep your baby “should” be getting during the day or night. But here’s the thing: every baby is different, and their sleep needs can vary widely. One baby might sleep 16 hours in a day, while another sleeps only 8. And guess what? Both can be completely healthy!
Having a fixed number in your head about how much sleep your baby should get can be overwhelming, especially when they don’t seem to follow that. Instead, watch your baby for cues that they’re tired or well-rested. It’s less about hitting a specific number of hours and more about making sure they’re getting sleep when they need it.
The newborn phase can feel like a whirlwind of emotions, sleepless nights, and endless questions. I know how easy it is to worry about getting everything just right—believe me, I’ve been there. But take it from me: those early weeks and months are all about survival and bonding with your baby. Everything else will fall into place with time.
So, take a deep breath and let go of the pressure to have a perfect schedule, avoid "bad habits," or hit a magic number of nap hours. Focus on what works for you and your baby right now. You’ve got this, mama!
Want to dive deeper into newborn sleep tips and tricks? I’m hosting a Newborn Sleep Webinar, where I’ll walk you through how to navigate the first few months of your baby’s sleep journey.
Click here to sign up and get more information about the webinar—let’s help your little one (and you!) get the rest you both need! You’ve got this, mama!
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